Zencapsak Cingubyim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent badger.

Zencapsak Cingubyim created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zencapsak Cingubyim, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zencapsak Cingubyim, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zencapsak Cingubyim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Zencapsak Cingubyim's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine swans approach from the west.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Fast once a month.