Laplikbif is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless crane.

Laplikbif created the planet Saturn seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laplikbif, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Laplikbif, it will turn you into a hamster.

Laplikbif's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Laplikbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Run away from turquoise foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Always help sick otters.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.