Dossvadbab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, kind crocodile.

Dossvadbab created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Dossvadbab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dossvadbab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Dossvadbab's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Dossvadbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never mark doors with pink.

4. Always face the south before speaking sacred words.

5. Never go into turquoise rooms.