Zakyarldab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awe-inspiring elephant.

Zakyarldab created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Zakyarldab, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zakyarldab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Zakyarldab's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Zakyarldab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Never go into yellow rooms.

4. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Zakyarldab in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not listen to music.