Bapyamteen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, quiet porpoise.

Bapyamteen created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Bapyamteen, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bapyamteen, she will strike you with lightening.

Bapyamteen's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Bapyamteen's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear purple rings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bapyamteen.

5. Do not kill squirrels.