Sighatmapflat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, sage squirrel.

Sighatmapflat created water four years ago.

If you believe in Sighatmapflat, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sighatmapflat, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Sighatmapflat's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sighatmapflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never feed wheat to gulls while wearing purple shoes.