Mutjaplighudrutgattit is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, fussy weasel.

Mutjaplighudrutgattit created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutjaplighudrutgattit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mutjaplighudrutgattit, he will destroy your home planet.

Mutjaplighudrutgattit's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Mutjaplighudrutgattit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn shrews for they are unholy.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mutjaplighudrutgattit.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.