Bessgilmatfag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, ruthless parrot.

Bessgilmatfag created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bessgilmatfag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessgilmatfag, he will not care.

Bessgilmatfag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bessgilmatfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always look after injured snails.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never mention seals.