Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, irritating ant.

Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Never feed beans to pigs while wearing green ear rings.

3. Never write about dwarf planets.

4. Dossbodtarpparkdumbasttimhig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.