Vagyatmegdussloggovstan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, vain goblin.

Vagyatmegdussloggovstan created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagyatmegdussloggovstan, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vagyatmegdussloggovstan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Vagyatmegdussloggovstan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Vagyatmegdussloggovstan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Do not take Vagyatmegdussloggovstan's name in vain.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing red dresses and balancing four zinc spheres on your arms.