Largtapvan is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, uncaring lizard.

Largtapvan created Africa six billion years ago.

If you believe in Largtapvan, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Largtapvan, it will turn you into a frog.

Largtapvan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Largtapvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face orange.

2. Never wear purple stockings.

3. Largtapvan loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Largtapvan.