Quartbisspit is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, flying meerkat.

Quartbisspit created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbisspit, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quartbisspit, it will remove you from existence.

Quartbisspit's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quartbisspit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

4. Never sprint in holy places.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near whales while wearing fawn tights and balancing seven silver spheres on your legs.