Bitvolceb is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, wise human.

Bitvolceb created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitvolceb, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bitvolceb, it will send you a sign.

Bitvolceb's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Bitvolceb's Holy Commandments

1. Bitvolceb must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing red jumpers and balancing eight lead spheres on your arms.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.