Hinzigjen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, competent wombat.

Hinzigjen created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Hinzigjen, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hinzigjen, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hinzigjen's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Hinzigjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near gulls while wearing gray corsets and balancing nine iron spheres on your face.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never go into green rooms.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.