Dusssafgig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate tortoise.

Dusssafgig created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dusssafgig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dusssafgig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dusssafgig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Dusssafgig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Dusssafgig.

2. Do not wear copper on your body.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Dusssafgig must be the most important thing in your life.