Mapfonjam is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, confident tortoise.

Mapfonjam created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapfonjam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mapfonjam, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mapfonjam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Mapfonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near otters while wearing gray shorts and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

2. Mice are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about special relativity near ducks while wearing white jumpers and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mapfonjam.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.