Matdubbut is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, omnipotent snail.

Matdubbut created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matdubbut, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Matdubbut, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Matdubbut's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Matdubbut's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight eagles approach from the west.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never wear orange shirts.

5. Do not hurt bats.