Gunvon is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, happy parrot.

Gunvon created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunvon, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gunvon, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gunvon's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gunvon's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Hide if nine birds approach from the north.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Retreat if four dogs approach from the east.