Bempanbon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, bad-tempered gorilla.

Bempanbon created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bempanbon, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bempanbon, he will curse you with boils.

Bempanbon's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bempanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Bempanbon must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always look after injured geese.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never eat bark.