Fagwikjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, kind crocodile.

Fagwikjarn created carbon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fagwikjarn, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fagwikjarn, it will throw large rocks at you.

Fagwikjarn's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Fagwikjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never fashion tools from wood.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always pray immersed in water.