Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional hydra.

Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid created humanity four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid, he will ignore you.

Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Lanlenxen Wotnilfonyartfumlid's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove skirts before entering holy places.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Remain kneeling during prayer.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Never jump in the presence of elders.