Begminkim is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, selfish armadillo.

Begminkim created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Begminkim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Begminkim, she will refuse to believe in you.

Begminkim's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Begminkim's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about spacetime.

3. Do not keep seven whales in a large pit.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Fast once a month.