Wegxuctarg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating jaguar.

Wegxuctarg created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wegxuctarg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wegxuctarg, he will turn you into a sheep.

Wegxuctarg's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Wegxuctarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of beans to capybaras while wearing orange skirts.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

4. Retreat if seven bats approach from the north.

5. You must pray to Wegxuctarg three times a day.