Jantofgovril is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage ferret.

Jantofgovril created the planet Earth four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jantofgovril, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jantofgovril, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Jantofgovril's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Jantofgovril's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Jantofgovril loves dogs, so they must be respected.