Vindutmeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, smart monkey.

Vindutmeg created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Vindutmeg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vindutmeg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vindutmeg's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vindutmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat rice.

2. Never bounce in the presence of dolphins.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vindutmeg.

5. Always obey Vindutmeg's priests.