Xuctettisadjabmidnak is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, awesome yak.

Xuctettisadjabmidnak created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuctettisadjabmidnak, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xuctettisadjabmidnak, he will remove you from existence.

Xuctettisadjabmidnak's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Xuctettisadjabmidnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Retreat if nine snakes approach from the north.

5. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.