Jipdangab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate seal.

Jipdangab created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jipdangab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jipdangab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jipdangab's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Jipdangab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always wear red.

4. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.