Dobruttcip is a god.

It takes the form of a small, egotistical goat.

Dobruttcip created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobruttcip, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dobruttcip, it will turn you into a mouse.

Dobruttcip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dobruttcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing red tights and balancing eight nickel spheres on your neck.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.