Teen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, omnipotent donkey.

Teen created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teen, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Teen, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Teen's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Teen's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Teen's priests.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Teen on top of all buildings.

4. Do not take Teen's name in vain.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.