Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, quiet crab.

Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag, he will be very unhappy.

Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Never leap in the presence of snails.

3. Never feed coconuts to nematodes while wearing stockings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Parklarppongutbunnullcadvag.