Figontcar is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane walrus.

Figontcar created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Figontcar, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Figontcar, she will cry a lot.

Figontcar's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Figontcar's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Hide from red dolphins for they are unholy.

4. Never mention great tits.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.