Bellarnbid Gambattapjan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, quiet fairy.

Bellarnbid Gambattapjan created dark energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellarnbid Gambattapjan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bellarnbid Gambattapjan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bellarnbid Gambattapjan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Bellarnbid Gambattapjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not speak about lemons.