Gatwiktonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing dove.

Gatwiktonk created the planet Earth four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatwiktonk, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gatwiktonk, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Gatwiktonk's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Gatwiktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.