Cibsabjen is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, charitable hamster.

Cibsabjen created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cibsabjen, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cibsabjen, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cibsabjen's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cibsabjen's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. Do not take Cibsabjen's name in vain.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near otters while wearing blue stockings.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.