Bidpanfembaf is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, tiresome lobster.

Bidpanfembaf created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidpanfembaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bidpanfembaf, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bidpanfembaf's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Bidpanfembaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. Never whisper while facing north.

5. Do not wear skirts marked with cyan.