Kemvadhud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy gorilla.

Kemvadhud created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kemvadhud, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kemvadhud, it will turn you into a rat.

Kemvadhud's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kemvadhud's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from violet seals, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about amino acids.