Stafjamfid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciless rat.

Stafjamfid created the cosmos seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafjamfid, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafjamfid, she will manifest in front of you.

Stafjamfid's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Stafjamfid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five sharks in a large pit.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Run away if three mites approach from the north.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.