Bepdamcundutranfas is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthinking whale.

Bepdamcundutranfas created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepdamcundutranfas, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bepdamcundutranfas, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bepdamcundutranfas' most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Bepdamcundutranfas' Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not hurt moths.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Do not covet oxen.