Dinquartvedfom is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, fast hamster.

Dinquartvedfom created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dinquartvedfom, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dinquartvedfom, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dinquartvedfom's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Dinquartvedfom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never feed melons to goats while wearing shirts.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.