Nuttafvil is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Nuttafvil created the planet Earth three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttafvil, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nuttafvil, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nuttafvil's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Nuttafvil's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six voles approach from the west.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about spacetime near moths while wearing gray shoes and balancing four gold spheres on your chest.

5. Always help snails in need.