Femhogbellpak is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest armadillo.

Femhogbellpak created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Femhogbellpak, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Femhogbellpak, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Femhogbellpak's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Femhogbellpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

5. Never talk about fire.