Fumdibyik is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, merciless giraffe.

Fumdibyik created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumdibyik, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumdibyik, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fumdibyik's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Fumdibyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands gray.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never write about planets.