Donstiklist is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable faun.

Donstiklist created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Donstiklist, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Donstiklist, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Donstiklist's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Donstiklist's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Donstiklist must be the most important thing in your life.