Gof is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, generous octopus.

Gof created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gof, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gof, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gof's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Gof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never feed apples to dolphins while wearing turquoise hats.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near mice while wearing yellow kilts and balancing nine nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Never look in ponds.