Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered gorilla.

Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad created a photon six million years ago.

If you believe in Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad, it will turn you into a frog.

Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Put Hapmabvonk Wodtalsad first in all things.

3. Never wear fawn rings.

4. Never talk about squirrels.

5. Do not shave your feet.