Miffosstik is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, selfish guinea pig.

Miffosstik created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Miffosstik, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Miffosstik, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Miffosstik's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Miffosstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs fawn.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.