Cidmobdam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable shrew.

Cidmobdam created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Cidmobdam, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cidmobdam, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Cidmobdam's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cidmobdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Cidmobdam.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.