Fadhapkap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, all-knowing swan.

Fadhapkap created time and space four million years ago.

If you believe in Fadhapkap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fadhapkap, she will not care.

Fadhapkap's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Fadhapkap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the east.

4. Fadhapkap loves great tits, so they must be honoured.

5. Always pray immersed in water.