Vignurtapp is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, egotistical guinea pig.

Vignurtapp created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vignurtapp, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vignurtapp, he will curse you with boils.

Vignurtapp's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Vignurtapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near snakes while wearing yellow shirts and balancing nine zinc spheres on your face.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Retreat if eight nematodes approach from the north.

5. Never sprint in the presence of swans.