Quamrotwon is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional snail.

Quamrotwon created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamrotwon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamrotwon, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quamrotwon's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Quamrotwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always obey Quamrotwon's priests.